Sharing Hard News: What I’ve Learned About Opening Up and Supporting Others

Sharing difficult news is one of those things that sounds simple—until you have to do it. Whether it’s a health diagnosis, a personal struggle, or any heavy burden, figuring out who to tell, how to say it, and what to expect can feel like navigating a minefield.

 

As someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, I thought I’d be fine. I’d just tell people, and we’d move on, right? Oh, how wrong I was. Turns out, opening up about hard things is, well, hard. Here’s what I’ve learned about sharing news—and how we can better respond when someone trusts us with theirs.

 

 

When I first received my diagnosis, I knew I needed to tell my closest friends and family. But what I didn’t expect was how hard it would be to relive the pain each time I typed out a text or made a call. Every message felt like reopening a wound.

 

If I could go back, I’d let my husband handle most of the initial sharing. Having someone else step in as your spokesperson can save you from the emotional strain of repeating the news over and over. It doesn’t make you less strong; it makes you wise.

 

I also decided not to share on social media, at least not right away. There’s something comforting about keeping the circle small when the news is fresh and tender. Over time, I’ve expanded that circle to include acquaintances and church friends, but the timing felt right for me. The key? Share when, how, and with whom you feel most comfortable. It’s your story—you get to decide how it’s told.

 

 

Let me just say this: not everyone will respond well. Some people, even those who love you, might unintentionally say hurtful things. One family member questioned my treatment plan, and though I know it came from a place of love, it was hard to hear. Others were at a loss for words and said things like, “Oh, okay,” which felt dismissive and painful.

 

These experiences brought to mind a verse from Matthew 7:6: “Do not throw your pearls before swine.” Now, I’m not calling anyone swine, but this verse is a reminder to guard what’s precious. Sharing vulnerable news is like offering a pearl from your heart. Some people will treasure it; others may not know how to handle it. And that’s okay.